Ugh... today was not a good day. I thought it would be since I indulged on 5 pumpkin pancakes from the pancake house yesterday with 3 cup-fulls of whipping cream and syrup. But that was yesterday, so I'm moving past that. So, today:
Breakfast:
Oatmeal made with skim milk; added cinnamon, nutmeg and pumpkin pie spice; 1/4 of an apple cut up in it
Pot of coffee with half and half
Snack:
About 3 slices of apple
**It's important to note, while the kids were in school, I mall-walked for 40 min; when I was done, I went to the library. What do I do there? Look through all sorts of recipe books, the majority of them are desserts and literally drool over the pictures. Try to decide what I'm going to make later. I've gotten into a very bad habit of making dessert almost 5 nights a week.
Lunch (this is where it starts to go downhill):
I had chicken thawed out, so I sliced them, put a slice of provolone cheese in each, sliced up some zucchini and added organic portabella spaghetti sauce. I made 3 - small, medium and large. For lunch I had the small one, and that was it.
Then I made 1/2 a batch of nestle toll house cookies with my typical substitutions - whole wheat flour, brown sugar (about 1/2 to 3/4 of the amount that's listed) and 3 kinds of chips - chocolate, semi-sweet and butterscotch. I baked 12 cookies. Froze the rest of the dough. I've had 7 cookies so far - and I've polished off 1/2 of the frozen dough.
Snack (about 2 hours after eating lunch):
I sliced off a good chunk of the large piece of chicken and ate that.
Still hungry (or so I think). had another cookie
Realized at this point, I had to get my mind off of food and get out of the kitchen/house. Went outside to sled with jack and Alice. Shoveled a little. Walked to the stopsign. Came back in, had another cookie. I had to do something other than EAT (this is how my mind works probably 75% of the time). So I vacuumed the basement stairs and promptly fell down them. Lovely. Bent 3 toes on my right foot backwards, so right now they are super sore. Banged my elbow pretty hard and my left ass cheek. A fine display of my coordination.
Ok, so now it's about 5:30 and it's dinner time. I can officially eat again and not (really) feel guilty! I polish off the rest of the huge chicken breast, have some carrots, finish Alice's morning glory muffin with LOTS of cream cheese on it and pour out some butterscotch chips to munch on while I'm washing dishes. Oh, and I had some blueberries, grapes and cherries with dinner... and some grapefruit.
Eat another cookie. While Jack's getting alice ready for bed (his idea.. .first time ever!)I start munching on the frozen cookie dough. The day's already shot... screw it, I give in to every temptation.
As I sit and write this, I'm digging my hand into the mixed nuts and eating like there's no tomorow.
So I do eat a lot of "good" foods... but also a lot of "bad" foods. My biggest problem is the QUANTITY in which I eat these foods. It's astronomical. I would seriously be scared to find out the amount of calories I take in on an average day.
I am usually pretty good in the morning - but after my first mid-day meal, it's no holds barred. I'm like a person who hasn't eaten in days, and I can't be stopped. I do have good days and bad days, but I'd say the 'bad' outnumber the good 5:1.
I am excited/nervous to start marathon training. I will probably allow myself more carbs (I'm really good with not eating the "bread-y" type carbs... it's the sugar crap I have very little restrait over) - the good whole wheat ones. I already use high fiber wraps, eat an apple every day and eat lots of peanut butter. Eating apples dipped in peanut butter used to quench my sugar craving, but now it's just par for the course. The only thing that really satisfies me is real, true SUGAR. I finally bought some raw sugar, so I'm using a pinch of that in my oatmeal now instead of brown sugar. I know I need to just not make this stuff. I already 1/2 the recipe right from the start. Then there's just plain old less of it to consume. I even give the kids more than I would usually just so it's gone and I don't eat it (now, I will give the kids 5 M&M's for dessert, so I really don't give them much - at all... so when I say I give them more, I'm still probably giving them less than what parents typically give their kids!). But I digress...
I'm just dying for some hot tea (one of the few good things I enjoy at night), so I'm going to make some, settle down on the couch, and probably gnaw on some (hopefully not the rest!) of the cookie dough - I might heat up some homemade applesauce and toss a tiny bit of cereal in there too to round out the evening.
No comments:
Post a Comment